Ten things to do in Sheffield before you fry.

1. Try not to look (or sniff) too closely at the contents of the festering detritus at the Viridor Salmon Pastures tip in the soaring temperatures.
2. Check and recheck the scabby, moulty gulls dropping in to scavenge at the site.
3. Ponder on how younger, more dedicated birders would not have stayed in the Legless Arms last night after news of the Audouin’s Gull in Sheffield’s city centre broke. No, they would have driven overnight and seen the gull just after first light before it flew off into oblivion.
4. Put the dip out of your mind and enjoy Kingfishers and Grey Wagtails zipping about under Norfolk Bridge over the River Don.
5. Wonder when it will be safe to leave – and worry that the Audouin’s may fly in again at any moment.
6. Decide which is your favourite piece of cutlery – this is Sheffield after all.
7. Wish you had remembered your sombrero to keep the sun off.
8. Consider complex mathematic formulas to explain the important things in life.
9. Ensure your shambolic, dipping friends haven’t melted in the heat/wandered off to get hopelessly lost in an unfamiliar city/fallen into the aforementioned river.
10. Thank Tony Owen for the driving.
You can’t win ’em all….